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Monday, December 14

Why am i leaving Korea?



Why am i leaving Korea?

When i first announced it to my friends (and on twitter) , i was asked 'WHY' so many times.

When i first came to Korea, i will admit that it was on a whim. I had problems back at home and i felt like it was killing me inside. I wanted out. Even just for awhile. Away from home, i needed my own time. So i persuaded my parents and they actually allowed me. As i got here, i have to say i recovered and got much better. Now i think it was a great decision.

Why am i leaving even before my i finish all levels in my Korean course? Why did i make such an abrupt decision to leave?

First off, it wasn't a sudden decision where i just decide to toss everything away and go back home. I have had thoughts about it for quite some time back then- months ago. My final straw was that i could not pass one paper by only 2% and had to retake a whole semester of the same level. When i received my results, i immediately told my mom i would quit. But she told me to finish off this year in Korea so i did.

Second, I do not come from a well-off family. I use my own savings to buy items and the only allowance i receive monthly for food and rent is less than $900. I had to repeat a grade and honestly i was broken. I felt like i have been asking for too much from my parents. I'm 21, yet still a student living off my parents' money.

My country's currency has been declining too fast and it has really taken a toll on my expenditures. I do not spend a lot, however, to see that my parents are always rushing about trying to make sure i live comfortably, i couldn't to that. I couldn't bring myself to be enjoying here.

Third, as much as i love Korea. I need to sort out my priorities. Personal priorities. I am still just a student with a Diploma. Everywhere i go, i will only have a stinking diploma which in this time, is worthless. I do not want to waste my time anymore therefore i made up my mind tho get a degree back in Malaysia (because it's way much cheaper)

Fourth, the society's culture is not much different to mine however, as i have mentioned many times. I felt really pressured in terms of academics to appearance. I have honestly never cared that much about my appearance until i came here. I have nothing against this culture but it was a little hard to embrace it. I was told i'm fat by people whom i've only met once. And honestly i am an insecure person. For a stranger to be pointing out the thing that i'm most insecure? Yeah, it actually made me avoid going out except to classes. I stayed home and refused to meet anyone. Unless there are days when i felt like 'fuck it. i love the way i look, i'm gonna go out.'

But not everyone was like that. The people here are nice however i just felt really out of place because of my size. I would compare myself to others easily. /shrugs; i'm working on a diet now anyways/

Basically, it's about sorting my personal priorities. I will be back in Korea after graduating with a Degree for sure. I love this country and it's saddening to part (for now) but i'll try to come back as much as possible.

I have never regretted my decision to study here. So let's all just think about me taking a long break before coming back here again! Or that's how i'd like comfort myself.

Loves.

6 comments:

  1. Awww. It's sad that you're leaving Korea already.. I actually want to study there, too! But it's okay, you're still young! So do what you need to do! And also, you are not fat and you shouldn't let strangers who see you only once to tell you that! Of all the people you should ignore, that would be them!

    take care!

    -Bee.
    www.beekyoote.blogspot.com

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  2. It sounds so tough :/ I hope that you are doing well! I think that this was quite a good decision! You should do things which make you happy c:
    I hope that you will overcome this and earn more strength from it~
    Jenny
    http://itsmeeejennyy.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  3. It sounds so tough :/ I hope that you are doing well! I think that this was quite a good decision! You should do things which make you happy c:
    I hope that you will overcome this and earn more strength from it~
    Jenny
    http://itsmeeejennyy.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete

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